Stuck! – Bridgehampton School (2015)
Stuck! by Caleigh Hochstedler
(Jessica and Britany are sitting around in Britany’s bedroom, bored)
Jessica: I’m soooooooooo bored!
Britany: I know, me too. We should do something… OTHER than sleeping!
Jessica: Well duh. I’m not gonna sit around here all night just twiddling my thumbs. I want to go out and explore the world.
Britany: Yeah we should explore the world… like from space… OOH THE MOON (actually believes it will happen)
Jessica: (sarcastic) Okay, and how are we supposed to manage that, Britany?
(Britany puts her hand on her chin, thinking)
Britany: Hmmm… OH OH OH MY LITTLE BROTHER MADE A ROCKET, REMEMBER? Out of the box from our new fridge!
Jessica: Britany, but…
Britany: I’m gonna go get it! (She runs off SL.)
Jessica: (pacing) My friend is crazy. She really thinks we’re going to the moon!
Britany: (out of breath) I’ve got it!
(Jessica arrives back at Britany’s house with a big cardboard box) (Jessica sighs and rolls her eyes)
Jessica: Britany, this isn’t going to work.
Britany: Jess, don’t take the fun out of everything! You have to beliiieeevvveeee!
Jessica: (mumbles under breath) She needs help, serious help.
Britany: (to Jessica) What was that?
Jessica: Oh nothing, it’s just… do you really think that we will be able to get to the moon with this?
Britany: Of course…I saw it in all the cartoons, so I know it will definitely work. Watch!
(Britany gets in space ship, front seat; waits for Jessica to get in but Jessica doesn’t)
Britany: Well, what are you waiting for. Get in!
Jessica: I don’t know if I can even fit in this (air quotes) ‘space ship’. (Pause, Britany gives Jess the death stare) Fine. (Jessica gets in behind Britany, then Britany gets in) Wow, it’s more roomy in here then I thought.
Britany: I told you.
Jessica: (joking) Oh shut up!
(The rocket starts “shaking”, countdown begins)
Britany: You feel that shaking? (Jessica nods slowly in fear) (excited) That’s the rocket taking off.
(Britany and Jessica have just landed on the moon with a BOOM!) (they climb out one leg at a time, a little scared, a little curious)
Jessica: WHOA! I can’t believe that that stupid cardboard spaceship worked. (starts pacing, a little worried) But, how are we gonna get home??! THE SPACESHIP IS CRASHED!!!
Britany: Jess, calm down! It’s just a crash, we can fix it. And besides just think WE ARE ON THE MOON!!!! It’s amazing and it looks so cool! We should explore like we talked about earlier!
Jessica: Britany, exploring got us into this mess, so I don’t think it’s such a good idea to explore a planet that we are not familiar with!
Britany: Familiar sh-miliar. Who cares, cuz I don’t! I have fun… You know I came here for a reason and I’m not just gonna pass this opportunity up! And by the way the moon is the moon NOT a planet. (attitude) DUHHH, everyone knows that.
Jessica: (sassy) Well usually you DON’T know that much. (thinks about how Britany got them on the moon, softens up) at least not until today. (Jessica starts doing the potty dance, kinda quiet) (talks to self) Why can’t there by any trees here? Or even just a rock to go behind!?
Britany: (overhears, stupid) Yeah I see what you’re saying, trees would look really nice. It would add some color.
Jessica: No Brit, I have to pee.
Britany: OOH… Look Jess, it looks like a – like a – hotel on the moon…oooh a MOONTEL!
(Britany is too busy taking a selfie that she doesn’t hear Jessica)
Jessica: I’m gonna check if they have a bathroom!!! (Jessica runs off stage)
Britany: This is a really good selfie, I’m gonna post it on Instagram!… UGH, there’s no signal!!! (Britany walks around stage looking for signal and ends up back at the spaceship) How did this get here? Maybe it still works.
(Britany kicks the spaceship and it starts counting down from 10)
Britany: Jessica? Where’s Jessica? Hmmm, I guess she already got a head start home. Well, I’ll catch up to her! (Britany ‘takes off’; Britany exits in “blackout with rocket ship)
Jessica: Britany? Britany? Hey where did Britany go? She probably booked a room at the ‘moontel’, as she called it. (crosses to Moontel; looks the direction of the audience and is ‘talking’ to the person at the front desk) Hi, I’m Jessica, has anyone checked in under the name of Britany Katheen? (Pretends like the person is giving her an answer) No? Um, well how about Jessica Bayrooth? (waits for response again) No? (pause, a little sad) Okay well can I get a room please?
(Split stage with Britany is hanging out in her room and Jessica in hotel room on the moon. Jessica is pacing, very aggravated and sniffly because she just finished crying while Britany looks at her selfies on the bed.)
Jessica: (angry) Hello!!!?
Britany: (stupid) Oh hey Jessica, I was just looking for you. You should come over and we could stalk people on Instagram!
Jessica: I would but guess where I am! (waits for response)
Britany: Uhhh… at the mall?
Jessica: NO, BRITANY! You left me on the moon!
Britany: The moon, how’d you get a signal?
Jessica: Yeah, they have Space-Fi at the Moon-tel.
Britany: Oh…sorry… WAIT I THINK I SEE YOU! (looks at moon) Never mind it’s just a mosquito. (follows the mosquito and snaps it on her arm)
Jessica: Britany, it’s no times for jokes! (whiney) Get me dowwwwnnnn.
Britany: But if I don’t get my beauty sleep, I’m gonna lose my popular reputation.
Jessica: What’s more important, losing your reputation or your best friend for life?
Britany: My bestie.
Jessica: (starts to panic) I hear aliens! AAAAAAHHH HELP!
Britany: It’s okay, I’ll get you down one way or another.
Jessica: I can not stay up here forever. Uh Uh Uh! And how are you supposed to get me down, you took the spaceship home.
Britany: I’ll tie a balloon around my waist like in the movie ‘UP’.
Jessica: That was a movie, it’s not gonna work.
Britany: (serious) Well then why don’t you just jump onto earth?
Jessica: Anti-gravity doesn’t work like that, Britany.
Britany: Oh well then if you’re sooo smart, lets see you come up with a plan.
Jessica: (sarcastic) Oh, maybe I can get the aliens to teleport me back.
Britany: (serious) Yeah and while you’re at it, get a pic with them cuz that would be totally awesome!
Jessica: I was being sarcastic but it could maybe work.
Britany: Put me on speaker phone! (puts on speaker) HEY ALIENS, NICE ALIENS, CAN YOU BRING MY FRIEND HOME?! PLEASE! (A sound comes from the aliens)
Jessica: (to Britany) I think they said yes (to aliens) THANK YOU!!!
Jessica: I think it’s working. Goodbye Moon.
(Jessica is teleported back to earth) (The girls see each other and hug)
Britany: Jess, thank God you’re home. I just want you to know that I’m really, truly sorry. This wouldn’t have happened if I was more aware of my actions.
Jessica: It’s okay. But it’s partly my fault. I should have been nicer and been more clear on what I was doing.
Britany: You’re my best friend forever.
Jessica: And you’re mine (both hug and show each other love) but Britney we were on the moon!
Britany: I know… One small tinkle for Jessica and 5 great selfies for me.
Jessica and Britany: 6! (takes a selfie)