Political Park (2017)
Caly Stewart and Leah Janetti
in the play “Political Park”
by Parker Firestone
(Bertram walks onto stage toward center.)
(Tally crawls onto stage joyfully and looks at the whole crowd, walks toward center stage, bumps into Bertram.)
Bertram: (jumps away from Tally) Excuse you! You come in here and start creating trouble, running around, having fun–this is supposed to be my nice relaxing walk in the park.
Tally: Well, you do realize this is a dog park? Not to say that you aren’t welcome but you know, us dogs like to do things a certain way. Anyway, what’s your name? I’ve never seen you here before.
Bertram: I’m Bertram Trump. (Tally looks at him wide-eyed, bewildered.) Who are you?
Tally: I’m Tally Clinton. (Bertram looks at her wide-eyed, offended.) Oh… it was quite the close call between our parents last month!
Bertram: Oh no it wasn’t… my dad won by a HUGE landslide… ugh!
(Bertram walks away from Tally.)
Voice offstage: The next day.
(A dog is stacking cardboard building blocks.)
Tally: So, uh, whatchya building there?
Bertram: A wall–it’s gonna be HUGE!
Extra dog: Please, help me! I was on my early morning walk when he led me into building a wall!
Tally: (under her breath) Ah, like father like son.
Tally (cont’d): Why do you need to build this wall?
Bertram: I need to build a wall so I can keep riffraff like you out of my country–no wait–my dog park.
Tally: But you aren’t even a dog–you are a cat, and you can’t just decide to exclude a group you know nothing about.
Bertram: Yes, I do know a lot about dogs… (pause.) I know that they are disruptive… uhh… rude… and uhhh… overall, you dogs are putting my life millions of other animals’ lives in danger.
Tally: But that’s the thing–we are all animals. We all deserver to enjoy the park. You can’t just decide out of nowhere that you are going to build a wall and never let us dogs in again. You know what? I’m going to go and tell the Wall Street Journal, the LA Times, and the New York Times about what you are doing because if the people can’t know the truth about your dad then they deserve to know the truth about you!
(Tally starts to walk off.)
Bertram: Go ahead… Do whatever you want because at the end of the day, I’m just following in my father’s paw steps.
Voice offstage: One day later…
(Bertram is curled up on a bench, sad and depressed.)
(Tally comes running on.)
Tally: Hi Bertram!
(Bertram looks up at Tally, giving her a sad look, then lowers his head.)
(Bertram lifts his head, and then lowers it once again.)
Tally: What’s wrong?
(Tally sits on the bench next to Bertram.)
Bertram: Why do you care?
Tally: I don’t know, I just do.
Bertram: Ok, so here is what’s wrong–I’m a Persian cat.
Tally: I don’t see see what the issue is here.
Bertram: The issue is that, once again, I am a Persian cat, and if my dad finds out that I am a Persian cat, he’ll send me back!
Tally: I really don’t think your dad will send you back, being that there is no longer a “Persia.” Besides, you are his cat! And you have been his loving, furry companion. And he accepted you before he knew that you are a Persian cat, so if he decides to disregard your role in the family then he is making a huge mistake.. But I really think that since he has gotten to know you, it really won’t matter.
Bertram: I don’t know about that. Come on. What do I have to offer him? What even makes me special?
Tally: Well you are outspoken, and determined, and really actually nice at heart. Those are some really great qualities. And you know besides our differences, we have become friends, and I think that you and your dad’s differences shouldn’t come between you.
Bertram: Yeah, I guess.
Tally: Hey, that’s how everyone should be in this world. We should get to know someone and be friends with them based on their personality, and nothing else.