No One But Myself – Southampton High School (2010)
No One But Myself
by Aimee Morales
Southampton High School (Residency Program)
Joe: I never knew the words that I spoke would change my life. Change the way I’m seen, change the way I’m treated, and change the way I’m spoken to. My brother always told me to be wise and confident. That it was my choice whether or not I would tell somebody or EVERYONE. I guess its something I lack, CONFIDENCE. When I was a kid, I didn’t think about guys. I didn’t even know what a boyfriend meant. Then I started to notice I was the only kid without a boyfriend, I would lie and say “there aren’t any guys good enough”. But that was the opposite of what was really true. I didn’t find guys attractive. My only explanation? I’m gay.
Renz (her brother): I hear all this talk about my sister, and they think I can’t hear them. Truth is I don’t want to hear them. It’s not that I’m ashamed, it’s just hard to believe. But it wasn’t her choice, its like she was randomly picked out of a hat. I don’t hate her for it. I just think High school wasn’t the place for it. Look at her now. She isn’t seen the same, FUCK! Her name’s always in everyone’s mouth, she cant walk through the hallways without everyone staring at her and calling her names. Mind your own business and deal with your own damn LIFE! (sighs) I guess the only thing left for me to do is protect her. I can already tell this is gonna be a long year.
Setting: Psychology group for LGBT’s
Psychologist: (Voice-over) Alright, great to see you all. Lets begin with telling me how your school week was like? We’ll start with you Joe.
Joe: Uhmm…Okay…Well lets see, Hi my names Joe (Hey Joe!) Uhmm…I’m Gay…(Grunts) Do I really need to say that!?
Psychologist: (Voice-over) Yes… it helps you be comfortable with accepting it… now go on.
Joe: (Sighs) Okay… well my week was hectic. Uhh… (Pauses) I… uhhh… decided to come out… (Scratches head)
Psychologist: (Voice-over) And how was that?
Joe: Uhmm, I rather not talk about it, could we arrange a one on one talk?
Psychologist: (Voice-over) Sure…
Setting: At Home. Renz is putting away his book bag.
Renz: Sooo… How was group?
Joe: Ehh…it was alright, told ’em I came out.
Renz: You tell ’em everything?
Joe: Naah…just that I came out is all.
Renz: Hmmm….you know, people keep throwing stuff and putting stupid idiotic Post-Its on your locker…
Joe: Let them.
Joe: Let them.
Renz: What do you mean, “Let them”?
Joe: Yea… I can’t stop them.
Renz: Uh-huh, yes you can…. that’s what the school staff is for!
Joe: If that’s what they were for, then those Post-its and name-calling wouldn’t be happening and I can’t tell mom or dad, you know their views on this…
Renz: Man! It’s YOUR FAULT! You brought it on yourself! YOU SCREWED UP YOUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARS!
Joe: Can you just STOP!
Renz: What? Stop being honest and speaking my mind?
Joe: Ugh! JUST PLEASE! I already have so much pressure on me…lying to mom and dad telling them I’m taking “Art Classes” when in reality I’m going to therapy EVERY SINGLE AFTERNOON! Being someone I’m NOT! You know they will never understand. They’re so freakin’ religious, the second they hear that I’m Gay, I’m outta the house, to make matters worse, this town will kick me out because of the same reason!
Renz: I know, I know… Mom and dad wanted to move to a town that takes the religion seriously, just as much as they do, and they expect us to grow up like them. They think moving here will do us some good… which it really won’t.
Joe: Then there’s school, I’m constantly harassed, and I just don’t know how much I can take…
Renz: Just chill, its just, when I told you to be “Wise” I thought you’d understand that High School wasn’t the place, but you know I have your back, there’s just so much I can do. And seeing my little sister being treated like this ain’t cool.
Joe: uhmmm…yeaa…I’m not looking forward to school tomorrow.
Renz: Neither am I…
Setting: At School. Joe is at her locker, trying not to look at all the Post-its and trying not to listen to what the other kids are saying.
Joe: Just another day passing…just gotta be confident, that’s what Renz said…ughh…its harder than it sounds.
(A paper falls out; it was stuffed in her locker.)
Joe: How did they…?
(She reads it.)
Joe: You dumb fag… people like you shouldn’t be alive, people like you should just commit suicide, do us all a favor and just disa— (She stops reading it.)
Joe: I cant let this stupid card get to me…Reading this isn’t gonna do me any good…Fuck this.
(Crumbles it up and throws it, it accidentally hits a kid.)
Kid (Voice-over): Listen you dumb Faggot! WATCH where you throw your infected crap! You do that again and I’ll–
Renz: And you’ll what!? BACK OFF before you get your ass whooped, alright. (Shoves her away)
Kid: Whatever. Just tell your little–
Renz: Shut up and keep walking.
(Joe turns to Renz)
(Renz walks away to his class, Joe is headed to her class which is opposite of Renz’s)
Joe: Alright, I can get through this…I can do it, I just gotta ignore them…
Kids (Voice-over): Get outta here you fag! NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!
(Joe continues to walk.)
Joe: Almost there….
Kids: (chanting) FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT! FAGGOT!
(The Bell Rings)
One Kid: (quietly) Faggot.
Joe: Last class…. Last class… Last. Class. (runs off.)
Renz looks for Joe and cant find her. He goes to Joe’s locker…she isn’t there. He rushes to his locker to see if Joe is waiting for him but there is no sign of her. Renz opens his locker to get his stuff to go home as fast as possible…but ends up finding a letter…
Renz: It’s From Joe…
Joe’s voice: (as Renz reads) Hey, you’re the first to know…and hopefully the ONLY one…. I got into contact with one of our aunts from New York City, I’ve been talking to her and telling her my situation…because she was once in my shoes…our parents never spoke about her because she apparently goes against religion…But she understands me…which is why I decided to leave, she says there are many people like me…. looking for guidance and acceptance, over where she lives. I need that in my life right now…and I’m not willing to give up hope, my life is just as valuable as any other. I will write to you as much as I can, and call you as well. I hope you can understand, this is for the best. Much love Joe.
Renz: Kid, I’m proud of you…You never gave up hope.