It’s Unbeweavable – FLAGS (2014)

Semaj Durden and Ironely Estevez in Priscilla Nyarko’s play “It’s Unbeweavable!” Photo by Star Black.

It’s Unbeweavable by Priscilla Nyarko

Click here to watch “It’s Unbeweavable” on Youtube.

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( The two hair types are sitting behind a table with only their head down to their shoulders being shown. Afrodite represents the natural hair of the girl who is making the tough decision of which hair to wear to the party, and Silky is the straight and silky wig. Afrodite has a scarf covering her head and when the light goes on on her she shakes it off.)

Afrodite: Oh finally ! She let me breath for once !

Silky: Umm .. who are you again ? (Afrodite turns and looks at Silky startled.)

A: I’m her natural hair and who the hell are you Silky?

S: Who the hell are you calling Silky, Afrodite ! I’m the hair that she actually wants on her head.

A: If I had arms girl I’d make you eat those words!

Girl: Oh come on guys I really need to decide which one of you I’m wearing tonight to that party, and to be honest your freaking arguing isn’t making things any better.

S: Well you should obviously take me. I’m pretty and people don’t think you were just struck by lightning when they see me.

A: Well at least I’m real. Where did she buy you Walmart ? Listen girl, pretty soon you’ll just end up like the rest, catching dust at the back of this damn closet.

S: Well at least she’ll actually wear me! And proudly too!

A: Listen here bitch you do not come into my home and start acting crazy ! I’ll have you know that back in my day I was a sight to see !

S: Haha ! You sure are !

A: Everyone used to gush over me. I was the center of attention. I was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

(Lights dim in the table and Afrodite rises and walks downstage left. She begins to play with her hair as if she is looking at herself in a mirror.)

A: O M GEEEEEE ! Girl we look soo damn good UGHHH. If I was a guy I’d definitely date us no question about it ! Damn, damn, damn ! Mhmmmm ! We look hotter than a college basement party ! I can’t believe it’s the first day of high school. I can’t wait to hear what people have to say about me ! Come on let’s go.

(Afrodite walks to the front of the stage and looks out into the crowd. The voices begin.)

Everyone: Oh no, what is on her head ? Why would she leave her house looking like that ? She must have lost her mind ! Hey girl did you get lost on your way to the zoo ?

A: Oh no ! Why would they say things like that about me ? I’m supposed to be the new hot topic. What’s happening ? Wait ! What are you doing ? Don’t cover me up ! Don’t let what they’re saying get to you ! Hey stop ! You can just touch me up a little and it’ll be fine ! A little cut and snip there and I’ll be good to go ! Listen to me ! Stop! Stop !

(As Afrodite is pleading for the girl to hear her she begins to walk upstage center. The light begins to turn on Silky and dim on Afrodite.)

S: Oh screw this ! I deserve to be noticed ! You know I was beautiful too and I was happy ! I had a life ! I was out there in the world every day and not trapped in the dingy closet of a neglected, insecure teenage girl. I deserve better than this ! I remember when my owner would dress me up and cherish me. Oh those were the days.

(Silky begins to follow the same steps as Afrodite did just on the other side of the stage. She walks the the side of the stage and begins to play with her hair just as Afrodite but in different movements.)

S: Okay, so am I to die for, or what ? Where are we going today ? I want to go to the hair salon to get a little trim, I’m putting on some weight. (She begins to inspect her body in the mirror.) Does this bun make me look fat ? Woah woah. Where are we ? Who is this man ? Why does he have clippers ? All I asked for was a trim ! Wait no ! No ! You’re shaving me off ? I know we need the money but this is just drastic ! Noo please ! They’re going to process me and all this is too good looking to be trapped in a plastic bag for the rest of my life ! Do you know what those teenagers will do to me out there ? They have these torture devices called flat irons and hair spray ! Oh and don’t even let me begin with that girl Miley Cyrus ! Please don’t do this ! NOOOOOO !

(Afrodite and Silky walk to the center of the stage where they began and facing the audience and they start from where they stopped.)

S: Haha ! You sure are !

A: Everyone used to gush over me. I was the center of attention. I was absolutely BEAUTIFUL !

S: Yeah yeah yeah … (Looks at Afrodite in disbelief and rolls her eyes)

A: Pin, snap, secure .. All she does is cover me up … She doesn’t see the beauty in me anymore. I am a part of her. I AM HER ! I may just be her hair but you know I have feelings too. Doesn’t she realize that the things they said about us hurt me too but I didn’t let it get to me. If she can’t appreciate me then oh well. She might be able to cover me up with countless wigs but at the end of the day she will never change the fact that I am here. She can cut, cut, cut but I will continue to grow, grow, grow.

S: Well you know what at least you’re here with your rightful owner. If this girl knew she wasn’t going to wear me then she should’ve never bought me ! She doesn’t even want me. She might as well just sell me like my past owner did … Just throw me away because I am nothing. Nothing to anyone at all.

A: The struggles girl .. the struggles.

S: Hmm .. You can say that again !

A: You know we’re more alike that you’d think. We’re both neglected and unappreciated.

(They turn to each other and smile. At this moment they begin to notice the similarities amongst themselves and mimic each others movements. As they are running their fingers through their hair Afrodite’s hand gets stuck in hers.)

S: (Begins laughing hysterically)

A: (Gets embarrassed and becomes defensive) I’ll have you know that back then I was the foxiest foxy mama that there ever was. The fellas loved me ! But as the years past and I grow from person to person fashion changes and the ideal is now the unacceptable. People are becoming so damn judgemental and make others afraid of being themselves. Originality is sheltered and suppressed. I mean how ridiculous is that ?

S: Listen sweetie I would love to hear your sob story about the nappy hair that could’ve been but I am not a weave whisperer and we have a party to attend and if we don’t get going now we’ll be late.

A: (In a mimicking tone) If we don’t get going now we’ll be late.

S: Cut it out !

A: (Still mimicking her) Cut it out !

S: (Mumbling.) That’s why you hair is so big, it’s full of air.

A: What did you just say ?

S: YOU HEARD ME ! I didn’t st-st-stutter.

A: Keshia hold my earrings !

S: Who the hell is Keshia ?

A: The curly wig !

(Overlapping talking)

G: STOP STOP STOP ! You know what the both of you just proved to me that I shouldn’t waste my time going to this stupid party ! I’m just going to rock my natural hair and stay my ass home ! Those people are going to judge me anyway, no matter what I do, and you know what as long as I’m happy with myself I don’t need anybody else’s fucking opinion because I am beautiful just the way I am ! I am so sorry for neglecting you hair…

A: Preach honey ! Oh I knew you’d come around !

S: You know what I’m really happy for you. You two really belong together.

A: Well you know what I hope you find what you’re looking for out there.

(A gets up and starts to walk away and waves as the light dims. Sound of door closing.)

S: Hey wait no ! That didn’t mean lock me in here forever ! Hey I should have the opportunity to live too ! I want to see the world ! TAKE ME WITH YOU !!!!