Final Frontier (2017)
Zebulun Mundy and James
Lupo in the play “Final Frontier”
by Nicholas Mamisashvili
(Characters awake lying on the floor, the darkness lights up as the get up.)
Lenny: Captain, where are we?!
Captain: It seems we have crash-landed on a planet, that we have yet to figure out the name of.
Lenny: And what about the crew?
Captain: The most plausible answer is that they evacuated in the face of danger, no longer to be found.
Lenny: That’s horrible!
Captain: Indeed, though we mustn’t worry about the others. It is ourselves we should worry about.
Lenny: I guess you’re right. Being lost out at space without any form of communication to Earth isn’t the best position to be in.
Captain: Yes, definitely. But there are some remnants of our ship scattered around. If we search around we might be able to find something helpful.
Lenny: Okay, sounds good.
(Some searching later.)
Lenny: OOOO, I found something!
Captain: What is it?
(Lenny rushes over.)
Captain: So, what is it?!
Lenny: It’s a pencil that I have. I can’t believe it survived!
Captain: Are you serious?!
Captain: No! I didn’t mean it that way–I was asking why you were wasting out time.
Lenny: Oh, but I wasn’t wasting anytime.
Captain: … It’s a pencil.
Lenny: Yeah, so?
Captain: Forget it.
(Some searching later.)
Captain: Aha! I found something! Quick, come over here!
Lenny: Is it another pencil?!
Captain: No… it’s some more oxygen, and food.
Lenny: Astronaut ice-cream?
Captain: No, regular astronaut food.
Captain: We have to make it last for as long as possible.
Lenny: That’s a good idea. But did you find anything that could help us get outta here?
Captain: No, not yet.
Lenny: So, let’s keep searching!
Captain: I found a communication device!
Lenny: Really?! Where is it?!
Captain: Here. It’s busted.
Lenny: Can you fix it?
Captain: Maybe, but I’m gonna need your help.
Lenny: Like what?
Captain: First, we have to figure out what happened to it.
Lenny: Okay. How do we do that?
Captain: Slow down. It’ll take time.
Lenny: Okay, okay.
(Lights dim to black.)
Lenny: Two days and almost no progress?!
Captain: It’s difficult to fix! At least we’ve set up a shelter that could last us a week or two.
Lenny: This is never going to work. Are we just going to be here forever?
Captain: I’m not sure.
Lenny: Are we able to fix this ship?
Captain: That’s the least plausible thing we can do. It’ll take advanced equipment and a lot of time. Our best bet is to fix this communication device and hope there is a ship near us.
Lenny: How close is the communication device to being finished?
Captain: Ideally, we would have been done by tomorrow or so, but since I don’t have the right equipment, it’s very difficult to align the boards.
Lenny: Can we still do it?
Captain: Maybe. But for now, let’s get some rest.
(Cut to black.)
(Opens with both characters sleeping.)
(Lenny gets up groggily.)
Lenny: How are we gonna get out of this mess? This whole time I haven’t done anything to help. What can I do to help?
(Lenny looks down to his pencil.)
Lenny: At least I have my lucky pencil!
(Lenny grabs the COM device and stares intensely at it.)
Lenny: How can we fix this thing without our Super Compact Resistant Electric Wire Driver?
(Lenny pauses and looks at audience, breaking the fourth wall.)
Lenny: S. C. R. E. W. Driver for short!
(Lenny goes back to sleep.)
(Both characters wake up.)
Lenny: Any progress?
Captain: Unfortunately, we are in the same spot we were in yesterday.
Lenny: Do you need a pencil?
Captain: No! I don’t need a pencil! Now can you stop worrying about you pencil and do something productive?!
Lenny: Okay, okay.
Captain: I’m going to go explore the planet, see if there’s anything we can use to our advantage.
Lenny: Okay, go ahead.
(Lenny picks up a sharp rock.)
Lenny: This is one sharp-looking rock.
(Looks down at pencil.)
Lenny: I can carve my pencil!
(Stares at rock, then pencil, then rock.)
Lenny: But what?
(Stares at pencil, then slowly looks over at COM device.)
(Lights back up with Lenny holding S. C. R. E. W. Driver)
Lenny: I think this’ll work. Let me call the Captain.
(Lenny gets up and walks offstage, calling for Captain, with both returning to the stage.)
Lenny: Captain, the pencil!
Captain: Not about the pencil again! I told you to help!
Lenny: But the pencil will–
Captain: I said stop worrying about your pencil!
Lenny: But look–
(Lenny picks up COM device.)
Lenny: I carved a S. C. R. E. W. Driver out of the pencil! Do you think it’ll work!
Captain: There’s only one way to find out!
(Captain uses the S. C. R. E. W. Driver to put the COM device into place, then hands it over to Lenny.)
Captain: Try it out!
(Lenny tries to turn it on, a couple seconds go by and it turns on.)
Lenny: We did it!
Captain: We sure did, and it’s all thanks to you.
(Voice comes from COM device.)
Voice: What is it you need Captain of Ship 238?
Captain: Our ship crashed on an unknown planet, and we have no way of escape. Is there any way you can help us?
Voice: Hmmm… it seems there are a couple of ships near your area. I will contact them and send them over. You’ll be on a ship by the end of the day.
Lenny: THANK YOU!!!
Voice: Uhhh, no problem.
(Scene cuts to black.)
(Characters are back on Earth.)
Lenny: Thank you for everything, Captain.
Captain: Thank you, as well. If it wasn’t for you and your pencil, we might not have made it back.
Lenny: Yeah, you’re right. But there one thing that still bothers me.
Captain: What’s that?
Lenny: How did my pencil survive the crash?
Captain: Oh brother.