Fair Game – The Ross School (2011)

Aubrey Jowers and Will Greenberg in Teague Costello’s play “Fair Game.” Photo by Star Black.

Fair Game

By Teague Costello

Ross School

Click here to watch a video of this performance.

Aaron is looking around like he is waiting for someone

Aaron: Hey Scott.


Scott: Um? Hey, what are you doing here?

Aaron: Nothing much. I was just hanging out.

Scott: Oh that’s cool.

Aaron: Yep.

Scott: Yeah… so… Aaron are you excited for the Dance this Friday?

Aaron is still looking

Aaron: Am I excited, of course I’m excited it’s our first dance and I am planning to go to it with a girl.

Scott:  I know!  It’s going to be the best night of our lives. Plus when we show up with our awesome dates all the other boys will be jealous.

Aaron: Your going to ask someone to the dance too? Cool man.

Scott:  Yep

Aaron: We are going to be the coolest cats there.

Scott: Hey Aaron, what are you looking for?

Aaron: Well, I left a secret admirer note in the locker of the girl I’m asking out and told her to meet me right here in the gym after school. So I am waiting for her to show up.

Scott: That is so crazy. I asked another friend to tell my date to meet me here, so I could ask her out.

Aaron: Best friends must think alike.

Scott: Maybe it’s better that you are here with me because then I will feel more confident.

Aaron: yeah! You’re right, same for me.

Scott: My Date is really good-looking I bet she is hotter than your date.

Aaron: No way my girl is gorgeous. Also why do you keep saying date? You don’t know if she is going to say yes yet.

Scott:  I know, it’s just that I have planned the whole thing out in my head a thousand times and I know it will go perfect.

Aaron: You sound so confident. I’m scared I will freeze up when it comes to the moment.

Scott: Just relax,  haven’t you talked to a girl before.

Aaron: Of course. But this is different.

Scott: Only if you make it different. Watch just say to me what you were going to say to her. Ok.

Aaron is reading it of a crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket and sounds like he does not know what he is saying.

Aaron: Ok. Um… um. I have been watching you for a long time and you are really beautiful and I have decided I um I like you and the dance is on Friday so can you come with me.

Scott: What was that!  Were did the paper come from? Give me that.  He snatches it from Aaron’s hand.  That is so lame you have got to be kidding me. Also the part when you say I have been watching you for a long time. You sound like a total stalker. Do you think girls like stalkers?

Aaron: No.

Scott: Exactly, so leave that out. Just start with a nice Hello. Say something like um… say something like… oh I got it say hello then she will say hello then you can say if you were wondering I am your secret admirer. Then she will probably be nervous to say anything more so go right into it and ask her, I was wondering if you would like to come to the dance with me on Friday. Then she says yes. Then it’s over and at the dance you can talk about how much you guys like each other.

Aaron: Wow. Thanks a lot I would of totally messed it up if it wasn’t for you.

(In an obvious voice.)

Scott: I know you would of.        

Aaron: So what does your girl look like Scott.

Scott: Well she has long brown hair and.


(Aaron Interrupts Scott at the end of his line.)

Aaron: My girl has brown hair too.

Scott: Awesome. Well as I was saying she is not too tall but a good height and I think she has either blue or green eyes.

Aaron: Yeah my date has blue eyes and is pretty tall. She also loves ducks likes to play soccer and chess on her free time and has a slightly crooked nose because she broke it falling off a trampoline at her friend Jenifer’s house last April 14th.

Scott: Hey man I don’t want to offend you but it is a little creepy that you know all that stuff about this girl and you haven’t talked to her yet.

Aaron: What stuff?

Scott: Like her eye color her best friend, the broken nose on April 14th. I mean that is an exact date. How did you know Pause Wait the girl I like has blue eyes is pretty tall has a slightly crooked nose. That is the correct stuff right?

Aaron: Yep.

Scott:  There is no way it could be.

Aaron: What?

Scott: Just tell me her name. (In a panicked voice.)

Aaron: Katy. Why?

Scott: Katy Miller?  (Still panicked)

Aaron: Yeah, how did you know.      (in a Surprised voice)

Scott: Because we are both into the same girl you idiot!!

Aaron: Um… what should we do.    Oh we could both take turns with her.

Scott: No that is a stupid idea we can’t do that.

Aaron: Well one of us is going to have to have her. We can play rock paper scissors and the best out of the three wins.

Scott: No that is no a fair game.

Aaron: Sure, you just don’t want to loose.

Scott: So what if I don’t want to loose I really like Katy.

Aaron: Fair enough but that doesn’t solve anything.

Scott: Well I think I deserve her more than you. I taught you how to ask a girl out on a date. I have always helped you out. I was nice.

Aaron: Ok. But that information wont be useful to me if I cant ask anyone out. Plus you have been with plenty of girls already.

Scott: Only three.

Aaron: Well I have been with zero, Zero! So it makes more sense for me to get her.

Scott: There has got to be a way to solve this.

Aaron: We could let Katy decide for herself.

Scott: No!

Aaron: But that is perfect. Wait a second you just know that I am better looking so you don’t want to take those chances.

Scott: No way. I have my charm. Plus who says your better looking.

Aaron: It is obvious.

Scott: That’s an opinion.

Aaron: Oh shut up.

Scott: Scott roles his eyes being annoyed

Aaron: We could dual this out like a karate tournament.

Scott: This is serious. She could be here any second now.

Aaron: Exactly so we should dual. Trying to be funny.

Scott: I can’t deal with you. Maybe it’s not worth it. Give me one good reason why you should get her.

Aaron: I have liked her longer than you.

Scott: Know way I have liked her this whole school year.

Aaron:  Well I have liked her since second grade.

Scott: She wasn’t even in our school in second grade.

Aaron: Well I still have liked her longer than you.

Scott: No, you, haven’t   (Saying it with great anger.)

Aaron: Please stop yelling. You don’t haven to get so mad.

Scott: It’s just that I really like her.

Aaron: Well I do too. But if we both like her and we can’t share her then maybe we should just give up. I’m not saying I want to but I would rather be able to hang out with you and not have a girlfriend then not ever talk to you again and be with a girl that will probably dump me within two months.

Scott: Your right these young teen relationships rarely ever turn into the real deal. Thanks’ man.

Aaron: This is totally not worth it.

Scott: Yeah.

Aaron:  But if we are going to leave, what about Katy.

Scott: Forget about her she will deal with it.

Aaron: Um. Yeah she will deal with it.

Now they are both talking in suspicious voices acting like they both don’t care anymore and are going to leave.


Scott: Um. yeah

Aaron: Well let’s go.

Scott: Ok. See ya. Scott turns the other way about to walk out.

Aaron:  Wait why are you going that way. Aren’t you going to the bus loop.

Scott: No I um um oh yeah my mom is picking me up in the back of the school today.

Really excited randomly.

Aaron: Great!! I mean that’s ah great for you.

Scott:  um ok?

Aaron: By.

They both turn separate directions and walk away.


Scott: By Aaron.

As they turn the corner they both stop and hide behind the corner of the wall.

Then the spotlight moves to Aaron.

Aaron: Katy should be here.

The spotlight changes to Scott and Scott finishes the sentence.

Scott: Any second now.

The company of Teague Costello’s play “Fair Game,” from L to R- Will Greenberg, Teague Costello (playwright), Aubrey Jowers. Photo by Star Black.

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