Democrat or Republican? (2016)
Gianna Scala and Ava Seccuro in Ella
Griffiths’ play “Democrat or Republican?”
Democrat or Republican? (A Debate to Remember)
by Ella Griffiths
Click here to watch “Democrat or Republican”
SETTING: In a park – 2 blocks USC as a bench,
2 tall columns; (1) DSR and the other DSL)
MUSIC CUE: FARMBOY MUSIC – PLEASE PLAY NO LONGER THAN 0:14!!!
SLIDE: PARK SLIDE
Lights up as Sarah (wearing red) enters USR jumping rope, followed by Carly (wearing blue) running on with a small bunch of flowers
Sarah: (Laughs) That was fun, lets sit down.
Carly: (leans over to catch her breath) ok… sounds good to… me. (They take a seat on a park bench, take a moment, and Carly says) I heard my parents talking about the new President last night, something about how Hilary Duff is going to make a great first women president. (plays with her flowers)
Sarah: (opens mouth, then closes it; looks confused) I think its Hilary Clinton (Carly doesn’t hear her, instead is smelling a flower) Well anyway,y I heard my parents talking about the presidential debate that was on last night, they thought Trump did a great job.
Carly: What does debate mean?
Sarah: (pauses) something about… hold on I got it. (Sarah pulls out a phone and turns it on and asks Siri) “Siri, what is the definition of the word debate mean?”
SOUND CUE, SIRI’S REPLY: a formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward.
(Both girls look at each other in confusion followed by a Long Pause)
Sarah: (shrugs shoulders) Yeah, no, I really have no clue.
Carly: (nodding) Ok, well…anyway (moving on to a different topic) Wait, aren’t Hilary and Donald Trump, I don’t know…enemies? (Dramatically shoves hands together to show collision)
Sarah: I think so, I mean I can see why.
Carly: (leans in) Me too, (pause looks confused) wait why?
Sarah: Well, for one thing (x DS) Trump’s favorite color is red and Hilary Clinton’s is blue and that is definitely something to fight about. (pulls at her red tee.)
Carly: (looks down at her blue tee, looks up and x to Sarah) So if my family likes Hilary Clinton and yours likes Trump, does that mean we’re enemies?
Sarah: (pauses slightly, thinks about it, then answers) Yes.
Carly: (x to podium) Well personally I think Hilary will do a better job at running the world.
SLIDE: ELEPHANT/DONKEY SLIDE
Sarah: (rolls eyes, x to her podium) And why is that?
Carly: Well, for one thing, her hair cut is way-yyyy better than Donald Trump’s, I mean, who wants a president with hair like this? (pulls her pony tail in front of her eyes, then lets go) I mean that is a very good reason.
Sarah: Well… fine… I can agree that his hair isn’t great but, you know what?
Carly: (crosses arms) what?
Sarah: I… I.. I.. would rather have an elephant as president then a donkey (she imitates donkey noise, then folds her arms and nods with a smirk on her face)
Carly: Donkey? Elephant? Where do you get these ideas, comparing people to animals? Well… you know what (Looking around for something to say) at least Hilary Clinton cares about climate change.
Sarah: Climate change?
Carly: Yah, (smirks) polar bear stuff you wouldn’t understand.
Sarah: Polar bear stuff?
Carly: Yeah…. It just means that… Hilary Clinton likes sunny weather and she likes polar bears to have sunny weather too.
Sarah: Well, Donald Trump likes sunny weather, I mean that’s why he’s always so tan.
Carly: That means nothing.
Sarah: Ok… ok (pause) well does Hilary Clinton want to build a wall?
Carly: (becomes confused, looks around and whispers) A wall?
Sarah: Yep! And Trump’s going to build one and it’s going to be Huuugggge! (with a big gesture)
Carly: Ok well what is he using the wall for? Is it going to be in his house?
Sarah: (once again nods and thinks about it) It’s… (Pause) a surprise.
Carly: Ah ha, I got you! You really don’t know what he’s using it for, I mean for all we know he could be, umm… building it to keep out people from coming into the country.
Sarah: (smirks) Now why would he do that? That’s a terrible idea.
Carly: (Laughs) I know I was just putting it out there that would be so silly.
(Both start to laugh then turn away from each other…Carly turns back around, Sarah is facing the other direction)
Carly: (stand, x to podium) Well you know what, I heard that Hilary Clinton raised so much more money than Donald Trump. I don’t how much exactly but like thousands of dollars!
Sarah: (stand, x to her podium) Thousands! (pshhh) Donald Trump probably carries that much in his pocket with him every day.
Carly: (pause looks away, annoyed) Now you’re just talking nonsense because everyone knows you can’t fit one thousand dollars in your pocket; I mean, that would be called a credit card.
(Sarah looks away annoyeed…Carly X to Sara, poking her shoulder)
Carly: Excuse me…(Sarah turns) Can I ask you a question?…Where do we live?
Sarah: (Looks suspicious, says slowly) New York…
Carly: Very good…now, last night I heard my parents refer to New York as a “blue state” and what is Hilary’s favorite color? (Pause) Blue, (pause) so there you go.
Sarah: Blue? That means nothing, ok, so I live in a state that has magically become a primary color, so what? But I also heard something that might make you think differently about Donald Trump… (pauses)
Carly: (waits in anticipation) well… what is it…
Sarah: (at podium) He… is…pro-life
Carly: (x to podium) What?
Sarah: Yes, and do know what that means?
Carly: (shakes her head) No.
Sarah: It… It means that he… supports people… who.. live. (They both take a long, slow head turn to each other in confusion.)
Carly: Somehow, I’m getting the sense that that’s not at all what that means. Because are you then saying that Hilary Clinton is, I don’t know, anti-life?
Sarah: Yep, It means she wants everyone to be zombies! (Sarah pretends she’s a zombie, chases Carly up park bench; they both sit) (whispers) it’s shocking isn’t it?
SLIDE: PARK SLIDE
Carly: No, it’s not shocking because it’s not true! You’re not right and you’re making up any excuse to make you look like you know what you’re talking about.
Sarah: That’s not true, but I am right, there is no possible way I can be wrong.
Carly: And why is that?
Sarah: (Stands up) Well, I am older and you know what they always say. Carly: What? (narrows eyes)
Sarah: (pauses) Um… always tell your elders that they are right even if they are not.
Carly: (Stands up) Ok, first off I’m pretty sure that is not a saying, and two, you aren’t even one full year older than me, I mean, don’t you find this argument very silly?
Sarah: Find what silly? This is a very serious topic! (Steps and looks away from Carly)
LIGHT CHANGE (AS WE HEAR CARLY’S INTERNAL THOUGHT)
Carly: (SOUND CUE – this next line is pre-recorded as an internal thought) Ugh, she’s doing that thing again, where she’s being so stubborn and closing me off. She doesn’t understand.
LIGHT CHANGE – BACK TO REALITY
Carly: (back to reality…gets up, X to Sarah) Sarah? Don’t be mean, please. Let’s just forget about this and move on.
SOUND CUE: MISTER SOFTEE THEME SONG (not too loud)
Carly: Oh, listen, I think I hear the ice cream truck!
Sarah: (Whips around) No! I am not giving this up! Even though its just you, you know how I am about these types of things.
Carly: Yes, but…
Sarah: I mean out of all people I would have thought you would understand! I mean I have known you for what seems like forever! (throws arms into the air)
Carly: Ok, let’s calm down and sort things…
Sarah: (Talking fast now and keeps cutting Carly off) I am really disappointed in you I mean just yesterday you said how you were my best friend.
Carly: Ok that’s, that’s true but…
Sarah: And if you really wanted this argument to be over then you should just end it but let me win it!! (Stomps away having a tantrum, ending at US bench, sitting back down with a loud thump.)
(Carly is so shocked she runs off USL leaving Sarah alone onstage)
Sarah: (looks where Carly ran off) Did she really just leave? (Crosses her arms, lets out a sigh) I mean maybe, just possibly, there’s the slightest chance, (pause, looks around) she’s right. (start to x doc) I suppose I should go apologize. I mean, Carly is my one and only best friend, she has always been there for me and I always thought I was there for her. Now I’m starting to think that that’s not always the case. She is the nicest person I know and I would not want to lose that friendship. (take a moment) Sarah, let this go and now go say your sorry.
(Sarah begins to walk USL when Carly comes running back on and hugs Sarah)
Carly: Do you mean it?
Sarah: Oh, you heard me? Was I talking out loud?
Carly: Every last word.
Carly: Friends again? (Puts her hand out)
Sarah: Friends! (Shakes her hand)
SOUND CUE: MISTER SOFTEE THEME SONG – (full volume)
(They look towards each other, happily.)
Sarah: Ice cream!! (grabs her jump rope and starts to run off USR)
Carly: But it’s the middle of fall! (starts to follow her) Wait, wait up for me! I want blue ice cream!
Sarah: (stops and turns) Yours might be blue, but mine’s going to be Huuggge!!!!
AS THEY EXIT, PLEASE CHANGE SLIDE AND PLAY EXIT MUSIC –
SLIDE: AMERICAN FLAG
MUSIC CUE: HAIL TO THE CHIEF
(LIGHTS FADE AS THEY EXIT)