Dog Days – The Ross School (2015)
Dog Days by Jensen Rowen
(The scene takes place at the characters’ apartment, late at night)
Gus: Hello Jasper…
Jasper: (stammering) Wh-what are you umm…doing awake?
Gus: Waiting for you…where the hell have you been?
Jasper: I was just playing poker with the dogs. Chill bro. Why are you all worked up?
Gus: (sighing) I called Frank, he said that you weren’t there. Care to explain? (sniffing the air) Hold up, I wouldn’t mistake that stench anywhere. (Gasps in shock) A cat…what the hell man?! Us dogs stick together. How could you?!?
Jasper: Just let me explain-
Gus: (furiously) I don’t even want to hear it…
Jasper: Come on man give me a chance…
Gus: Why should I? And how long have you been sneaking around with a… (Gags) cat?
Jasper: Well, for starters, I really like her…
Gus: Go on…
Jasper: And well, you know, she’s really nice and just…c’mon I want you to meet her.
Gus: A cat! Ha! I’ll meet her when humans fly!
Jasper: Uhh, Gus…humans can fly…
Gus: (stubbornly) Fine…I’ll go. But I won’t have fun…when will I meet her?
Jasper: (excited) Tomorrow, for kibble…you won’t regret this.
Gus: But you better not let it come between us.
Jasper: Her. Better not let her.
Gus: Fine whatever. Good night. (They settle down to sleep)
Jasper: Good night.
(The next morning)
Jasper: Gus wake up! My tail won’t stop wagging! Aren’t you excited?
Gus: Get off me man; I’m trying to sleep.
Jasper: (calming down) Sorry Gus, I just haven’t slept because I’ve been so excited…
Gus: It’s fine, I get it – you want me to meet…uhhh…what was her name again?
Jasper: Oh I forgot to tell you her name. It’s Cecilia. It’s beautiful right?
Gus: (Under his breath) Maybe for a cat…wait hold on…I know that name.
Jasper: (shrugs) Whatever…
Gus: So we better get going right?
Jasper: Yup let’s head on out. (They leave)
(At the restaurant)
Jasper: Boy this is a nice place right Gus?
Jasper: So…are you excited to meet Cecelia?
Gus: Yeah I guess.
Jasper: What’s that supposed to mean?
Gus: Nothing, it’s just that I would rather be home sleeping.
Jasper: (Sarcastically) Well that’s nice to hear.
Gus: Whatever…So the food looks good. I might have a Rib Eye steak.
Jasper: Sounds good…I might have the same.
Gus: Where is Cecelia by the way?
Jasper: Oh, she’s in the bathroom.
Gus: That reminds me, I need to use the bathroom. Order for me if the waiter comes.
Jasper: Ok. (Gus goes to bathroom. Jasper looks at menu)
Jasper: Soooo…did ya like her?
Gus: (unwillingly) I could deal with her… there’s just one thing…
Jasper: What is it?
Gus: Cecelia and I…used to date.
Gus: It was a long time ago. I know I lectured you about dating cats and that was because I had experience. It’s a terrible choice. She’s so untrustworthy. She cheated on me while we were dating.
Jasper: Is there still anything between you guys?
Gus: No. Trust me. I want nothing to do with her.
Jasper: Well get used to it. She’s going to be around for a long time. (Pause. Silence.) Dude what is wrong with you? Ever since you came back from the bathroom you haven’t been able to look me in the eye.
Gus: It’s nothing.
Jasper: Come on man you can tell me anything.
Gus: Ok…well, while I was in the bathroom Cecelia came in. I was confused and before I could say anything she tried to make a move on me…I stopped her. I’m so sorry man; I know that you liked really liked her.
Jasper (angrily) Cecelia? Look I know that you don’t like her that much. But to go to such lengths and make up this ridiculous story to get me to break up with her! I thought that we were friends…Don’t even try to say anything.
Gus: (softly) But…ah what’s the point. He won’t listen. I guess I’m sleeping on the floor tonight.
(Gus and Jasper at home. Jasper is in the bathroom) (Doorbell rings. Gus answers the door)
Cecelia: Hi there.
Gus: Jasper is in the bathroom.
Cecelia: (offstage voice) That’s okay. I was actually looking for you. I want to pick up where we left off.
Gus: No. There is nothing to pick up. You are Jasper’s girlfriend. That is completely wrong.
Cecelia: He doesn’t need to find out…
Gus: Yes he does. He needs to find out about all of this. How could you do what you did to me? To Jasper? He’s a great guy. He doesn’t deserve this. I’m going to tell him.
Cecelia: And he won’t believe you.
Gus: Just go home. Get out of here.
Cecelia: Fine, but I am going to see you later. (Makes kissing sounds. She leaves. The toilet flushes. Jasper reenters the room.)
Gus: Before you yell hear me out…
Gus: The same thing happened again with Cecelia. She just came over here, trying to get back together. I turned her down again.
Jasper: Wow…here we go again. You have no proof. I’m not mad. Just please stop trying to break us up. I don’t know what kind of sick endgame this has, but I just don’t want to hear it.
Gus: I got it. The Dog Alarm 5000!
Gus: Our new security system that we got put in after that cat burglary. It comes with cameras.
Gus: You can see the footage of Cecelia when she came over! That’s enough proof in itself!
Jasper: Ok, but I don’t think we’ll see anything.
(They review the tape)
Jasper: I’m so sorry man; I should have believed you over that slimy cat. I let her come in between our friendship, which is the most important thing in my life.
Gus: It’s ok. As long as you get her out of our lives as soon as possible.
Jasper: You don’t even have to ask…