Are You Listening? – Ross School (2011)

Max Vinocur and Bella McCarthy in Brenna Leaver’s play “Are You Listening?” Photo by Star Black.

Are You Listening?

By Brenna Leaver

Ross School

Click here a video of this performance

Location: Bus Stop Time: Around 5:00

(Lily and JAKE both enter from opposite side with the blue tooth facing away from the audience)

JAKE: Hey.

LILY: Hi my name is Lily.

JAKE: Jake.

LILY: I think we?ve met before.

JAKE: Yes I think so.

LILY: How have you been?

JAKE: Good. And yourself?

LILY: Not so good. I?ve been having some problems.

JAKE: Hmm?

LILY: Well, I just discovered there?s a tape worm, living inside of my body!

JAKE: What?

LILY: Yea, that?s right, a tape worm!

JAKE: Never mind, let?s not go there.

LILY: It?s real! It?s gotta be around forty feet by now.

JAKE: No offense or anything, but that doesn?t sound too appetizing.

LILY: Well if you think that is bad, it?s been eating everything I cram down my throat!

JAKE: Actually, that sounds really good. I?d like to try that.

LILY: I?ve lost so much weight!

JAKE: That sounds great!

LILY: It?s really been taking a toll on my digestive system. If you want I can send over a sample of my #2…just between you and me.

JAKE: No! No! No! I don?t want #2.

LILY: Ok, I?ll send some over tomorrow morning!

JAKE: No! I said no #2!

LILY: How many years have you been in the area?

JAKE: 25

LILY: That long?

JAKE: Yeah, you heard me. I said 25.

LILY: I just moved here.

JAKE: I don?t really care.

LILY: How about we get back to the tapeworm problem.

(Jake rolls his eyes and sighs.)


LILY: It makes me very weak.


LILY: I haven?t slept in days because of the stomach cramping.


Lily:  It causes so much gas.

JAKE: Umm….. (Looks disgusted.)

LILY: I can even feel it wiggling around in my gut!

JAKE: You know what I don?t want to hear about this right now. Why don?t we get back to the conversation we?re supposed to be having.

LILY: Ok… so when am I going to see you next.

JAKE: 25.

LILY: What?

JAKE: Didn?t you hear me before? I said, 25!

LILY: I?m sorry, I didn?t understand you.

JAKE: Seriously, come on. It?s simple: 2, 5, TWENTY FIVE.

LILY: Ok I?ll see you then!

JAKE: When?

LILY: Gosh its so cold out! I?m always so cold, now that the tape worm has consumed most of my body fat.

JAKE: No! Stop! I don?t want to here about you and your problems! All I want to do is-

LILY: What time is it? I?ve seemed to have misplaced my watch.

JAKE: 5.

LILY: I think I?d prefer it to be 7 if you know what I mean.

JAKE: No, I don?t.

LILY: I really feel like you aren?t helping me out with my situation.

JAKE: Well your not helping me.

(The conversation starts to become heated.)

LILY: You don?t understand! I need to get this tapeworm out of my body before it lays eggs!

JAKE: Do they come hard boiled?

LILY: Ugg!! Every time I try to talk to you you never help!

JAKE: Well how am I supposed to do that, if I don?t have a car?

LILY: This is exactly what I am talking about. You make no sense. You should have never moved here from Bulgaria!

JAKE: Well what do you want me to do about that?

LILY: I don?t know! You are so selfish. You never care about anyone else?s needs!

JAKE: What so you expect me to walk? I don?t have super legs!

LILY: I don?t care! You have always been so rude and obnoxious towards me, I don?t ever want to see you again!

JAKE: Well fine! I?ve had enough!

(Jake swings his arm while he says enough as a gesture so it hits Lily in the stomach. There will be a sound affect and Lily will fly back onto the ground.)

LILY: Excuse me! That was totally uncalled for!


LILY: No, no. Say no more. I think I?m going to leave now.

(Lily says this very sullenly)

JAKE: I apologize for being rude. (Jake says this in a dull tone.) Just give me order 25; the teriyaki chicken.

(Turns to the audience revealing he has been on the phone the whole time – a bluetooth headset.)

LILY: Then I?ll see you tomorrow at seven?   Thank you Doctor. (Lily turns – she too has been on the phone the whole time.)

JAKE: Oh, and make sure you add extra soy sauce to the order.

LILY: As annoying as you are, I know you will help me with my parasite.

JAKE: No I said soy sauce, not duck sauce you idiot!


The company of Brenna Leaver’s play “Are You Listening?” – L to R Max Vinocur, Brenna Leaver (playwright), Bella McCarthy. Photo by Star Black.

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